Monique Zamora

I have been in the rut recently.  I have felt so down.  I think it is almost the same the last time, especially when I came back from my vacation.  I mean, feeling low after the “high” of the vacation. Now, it’s an ultra low after a high at work. Maybe it’s a circle… one time up there, everything seems to be falling in place and then the next moment, bang! You’re so down there… *sigh*

Now that the end of my contract is getting a bit clearer by the day, it seems there are more and more obstacles cropping out.  One staff quitting on me, pressure to hire for the project, etc, etc. Am I really gonna quit now?  I am getting afraid each day… But what am I really afraid of?

My biggest fear is not being able to get out before it is too late.

This is solely a  personal point of view of what I have seen of people who have gone to work outside the country.  Not those who have migrated, but those who have stayed and probably opted to just be an overseas worker.

The moment we, yes, including myself, receive the contract that we have been waiting for our heart and mind thank God… and then our minds begin to ran as fast as it could of what we could do with the money that we will earn.  I cannot stop thinking about what I can “give” my family once I begin receiving the salary that has been promised. Sometimes even to the point that I could even sacrifice myself, I can live without many things just so my family’s needs can be met.

True, many workers actually live so frugally that one can even hold back buying for himself just so they can send money, worse, get their children luxuries that we actually know they live without.  PSP? Wii? Xbox? Laptop? How about a Blackberry or an Iphone?  The status that we think would buy our absence from their lives.

Don’t get me wrong, I have experienced hardship. I am no stranger to living from “hand to hand”.  My mother was the only breadwinner when I was young, I have a younger brother and a sister.  We practically lived on whatever my mother could bring home.  Maybe we were luckier than others.  But I tell you there were times when the electricity company would come in order to cut our supply because Mama had no money to pay our overdue bill.

I remember being in the 4th or 5th grade, or both, when every Saturday I would go to the fish market and sell fish so that we could have extra food and I’d have additional lunch money. It was a hard life.  I vowed my daughter would not go through all those… But at what expense?

I want to get out… I want to be with her… But I also want to be able to provide her with a better life. Better than what I had then.

But at what cost?

I have been feeling down lately. The moment I came back from my vacation about a month ago I have never really gotten over my colds, body aches from carrying Andy.  Well, I am not really complaining about the carrying part.  But I am really feeling down and low.

For the past 2 and 1/2 year I have been trying to fit in Dubai. I was actually hoping to get into the rhythm of being an OFW. I have nothing against it. I have all respect for each one.

But I am tired. I would like to go back home. To start my life anew. I am sick, I am tired. I would like to get well. I want to get well soon.

I have always wanted to take photos. Even before. Even during film days. If I had enough money to buy films and have it developed, everything, I would have splurged. Anyway, now in the digital age it’s no use to invent excuses.  Everyday I find myself looking for opportunities to take photos. Even if it’s just by my point and shoot device.

1st and favorite subject:

Happy Ballet Princess

Jollibee High Five

From my month-long vacation, I am back.

I got lots of stories to tell— well, supposed to be.  It was such a lovely vacation. Although there were things left unsaid and undone, I think I had accomplished a big chunk of what I wanted to do last month.

Sometimes we feel that a month is such a drag. Especially if you’re not doing anything- like work.  But if you have been looking forward to being home with your family that long, haay, you’d feel how quick a month is.

The last post, I had let you see how my first day at home was.  It was good.  The next few days was even better.

Let me see, After my first weekend, Mama, Andy and I went to Manila. My 900 peso ticket/ fare for the three of us was a steal for that 4 days 3 nights get away!  Plus Mama saw how his brother is in Manila.  I have to thank Tito Ron and Tita Mavic for the great company.  And for getting us that 500peso / pax Manila Ocean Park visit.

Then Paul and Gina came home to Davao. We all went Eden Nature Park.  It was such a lovely time.  We also went to Samal beach sans mama, since she had to work, drat work! Well, I’ll just have to compose my pictures so I can begin uploading things here.

I am back. For eight months, I will be positive of everything that is happening in my life. Even negative things will be seen on positive eyes. There’s no changing my mood/ mind on coming home.

Finally, after being away for one full year I am back to where I belong. I am home.

Shk Zayed Road- one straight road to Abu Dhabi

Abu Dhabi Airport

It was a very uneventful flight.  I woke up 4am to get ready. I had to be in Chelsea Tower, Etihad’s office in Dubai before 6am to be transported to Abu Dhabi for my flight. See, I got a good deal with Etihad, I didn’t let it pass me. Even if I had to be transported 1.5 hours away from Dubai, I’d still take it.  Flying by Etihad is so much different from my previous flights home. No stop over!  Last year’s flight home was a 10-hour lay over in Hong Kong.  Don’t get me wrong, I actually like it.  Just remind me not to be seated infront of a wailing kid the whole night.

Etihad Seat

Drew Barrymore and Lunch

When I arrived in Manila, it was actually quite early.  10:30 pm, PH time. It was just 6PM from where I was from.  I sent my uncle a text message, he was supposed to pick me up.  I was confident that he would be there.  Until I was already in the airport waiting area for two hours, I had to take action.  I called Mama’s brother, my other uncle.  He was almost asleep, I think. I almost begged. He’s my uncle and I am his eldest niece.  He can’t refuse.

He waited with me for almost 3 hours. Took me to McDonald’s for dinner and then drove and stood up with me to check in.  In between that he and I talked lots of stuff. Vent out if you may.

Then my 4am flight is almost about to fly. I bid him goodbye. We’re seeing him again in a few days as I am bringing mama and Andy to Manila this week.

I had to sleep, thank goodness for the eye shade I got from Etihad! I need to catch up with some sort of sleep in order to have the energy for Andy.

I tried to open my shade to check the sunrise, it didn’t show up during the whole 1.5 hour travel to Davao. Agh! I was hoping to get a glimpse of sunrise, it always amazes me to see that.  Anyway, I am nearly home.

The flight touched down really early. I was thinking of 5:45am, the pilot announced that we’re arriving at 5:28am. What?!  My Mama isn’t arriving until 6am! Am I going to wait again? awwww…

Okay, I cannot do anything anymore, it’s not as if I can still do anything at this point you know!

I went out of the terminal building, went up the arrival/waiting area and had to wait about 5 mins for them.  And then I saw mama and uncle jun.  I got excited, my eyes scanned the ground, where’s my baby? And when I saw her, I forgot everything. I just ran to her and scooped her to my arms! She’s stunned.  I am happy.

Welcome Home Mommy

Family