Only YOU know the battles I am fighting.
when I felt like losing, it was YOU who held me.
and I am holding on to YOU alone.
I will never stop singing YOUR praise.
YOU have given me hope
when everything else seemed so hopeless
YOU’VE given me the Love I needed
when I felt so neglected.
YOU alone are my reason
for singing.
While I am whining on whether or not I should renew or not, I just came across a site showing me that there are people looking for jobs and fighting off foreclosures. I got ashamed of myself. True that we have different circumstance. But more than that, I know I should be thankful of what I have, of what I know God has for me.
Thank you father for the reminder.
And it’s official. I am 3-0 today. I used to wonder how it feels to be at this age. I remember my aunts talk about nearing 30 or “lampas na sa kalendaryo”, or “huling byahe na” whatever do they mean by that? Maybe because at that time they were still single, un-attached, no plans of getting married whatsoever, or as the opposite of my case, without a kid. I guess being 30 is something to be afraid of of sorts.
Why be afraid? I like being an adult. I don’t really have to be “bound” by rules as I was when I was in school. Well, the assumption is you are earning enough bucks to pave your way here. But really, having your own money is liberating. You can do what you want to do… Buy what you want to, or at least you can save to get it. And well, you can actually tell your parents to let you be at some point.
If I had no kid, it would have been different. I probably have different kind of lifestyle. Different set of priorities. I may not be even entertaining the thought of coming back home to Davao anytime soon. But having one, it’s entirely a different story. I thought that when I get to 30, this would just be the age when I would start my own family, well, I had a kid at 26, so that’s not very far. By my parents’ standard, I am too old to start rearing a kid.
30 really is something that one should celebrate. 30 means that you’re past the quarterlife crisis. Somehow, maybe, you’ve grown more mature. And then you are close to beginning another chapter, a decade more!
Thank you Lord for the past 30 years. As I move to my 31st, I pray for a better understanding of me, of people I love and of things happening around me. I pray that you make me stronger because I know there will still be challenges around. It will not stop, and I know too that you will be there to guide me. Amen.
Seven more weeks. 
Excited.
I am actually very tired. Woke up around 2:30am to catch Andy very early, went back to sleep around 4am then woke up at 8:30. Not much of a sleeper on weekends too… I don’t want to get into that slack when Sunday/workweek begins.
I will sleep with a smile on my face and a little prayer in my heart. Thank you Lord for the seven weeks that will pass me by quickly.
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